I Gave You All
by FinchelToYou
Summary: Kurt and Rachel live together in New York. What happens when Finn moves in too? Bringing back everything Rachel once tried to forget. Everything that Kurt knows nothing about. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Rachel was laying in bed trying to take a nap after her long rehearsal when Kurt came into her room loudly.

"Hey Rachel!" she felt him sit out on her bed. "Whatcha doing?" Rachel opened her eyes slowly.

"Obviously not trying to take a nap. What are you doing?" she said sarcastically while rolling over to face away from him.

"Talking to my best friend!" he said cheerfully "And I have a favor to ask."

"What is that? I'm not cooking tonight. It's your night." she still had her head turned and facing the other way and didn't feel like dealing with him.

"Oh it's not that."

"Then what is it Kurt? I've had a long rehearsal and my director is a total ass and I don't feel like playing this guessing game anymore."

"Whoa! Is it your time of the month or something?" she felt him start to pat her back and she instantly felt bad for snapping at him.

"No I'm sorry I'm just really stressed and I had a bad day. What's the favor?" she turned her head and looked up at him.

"Well you know how we're looking for a roommate?" he started out slowly and she nodded her head suspicious of his tone. "Well you know how Finn is coming home from Iraq next week?"

"Kurt you know I can't stand your brother." she said angrily knowing exactly where this conversation was heading.

"I know but he has changed! You haven't seen him since he went into the army. You know the college him. He was going through a phase then."

"Kurt, he threw up on me at a frat party and then laughed. I do not want that living with us." she turned her head angrily away from him and pulled the cover over her head.

"Rachel, he has no where to go! He's getting out of the army and he's looking into fire fighting and they have training here in New York and he needs a place to stay."

"Finn and I don't get along!" she practically yelled.

"Have you ever actually tried getting along with him?" he said angrily jumping up from her bed and slamming her bedroom door shut.

A few tears slipped from her eyes. She did try to get along with him actually and that ended horribly.

...

The next few days it was pretty quiet around the apartment. Rachel avoided Kurt and he avoided her.

She was sitting at the kitchen bar eating some cereal and reading a magazine when Kurt came in. She awkwardly looked down and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Rachel can we talk?" she felt him sit down on the stool next to hers.

"Sure I guess." she ate another bite.

"I know you're totally against letting Finn move in with us but the thing is he's my family and he needs somewhere to stay." Rachel felt bad. Kurt had no idea what had gone down between herband Finn. All he was trying to do was look out for his family. "Our rent will be split three ways with him moving in and that means you will finally have enough money to get that new phone you want. Money will be easier on us all if he moves in!"

Rachel started to make a pros and cons list in her head. The cons won but when she looked at Kurt she saw how important this was to him and how their friendship would be greatly effected if she said no again. She missed not talking to him the pass couple days. She sighed.

"Fine he can move in but I swear if he throws up on me again he has to go." Kurt squealed and hugged her.

"You won't regret this Rachel!" With that he grabbed his phone and ran off to his room to call Finn.

She had a feeling she would regret this.

...

She has no idea how Kurt talked her into coming to the airport with him to pick up Finn. She moped and watched Kurt hold up a sign that said "Welcome Home Hero!" glad that she talked him out of making her hold up a sign herself.

"There he is!" Rachel sucked in a deep breath when she saw the husky guy walking toward them in a camouflage suit. He looked the same as he did seven years ago but he had a certain maturity to him now.

"Hey Kurt!" he smiled at him as he approached the two people. Kurt jumped up and down and hugged him which Finn laughed at while hugging him back.

"How was Iraq?" Kurt asked while grabbing Finn and pulling him to the luggage pick up. Rachel walked awkwardly after them.

"You know.. Crazy I guess." he shrugged. "I'm just glad to be home." he turned his head then and met Rachel's eyes. "Hey long time no see Rachel." she blushed and looked down. "How have you been?"

"Same old. Same old." she muttered while looking down still.

"She's on broadway now." Kurt informed him proudly.

"Really?" he asked surprisingly which made her blood boil. She absolutely hated this man and she couldn't stand being in the same area of him and their past. He hadn't even done anything to her since getting off the plane it was just his presence that irked her.

"Yes! And if you don't mind I'm going to be in the car." she turned and ran off then leaving a confused Kurt and a regretful Finn behind.

...

"Dude I thought you said she wanted me to move in." Finn said while grabbing his suit case from the long line of suit cases.

"She does! She just doesn't know it yet." Kurt mumbled hoping he hadn't heard the last part.

"Kurt I would have never moved in if I would have known she didn't want me to move in with you guys." They started to walk out the airport.

"I know. That's why I didn't tell you. She'll come around though. Life has been hard on her with her dads dying and everything."

"Wait her dads died?" Finn asked shocked.

"Yeah a long time ago. You didn't know?" Finn could tell Kurt was surprised he hadn't known.

"When?"

"Seven years ago. They died in a car crash. We were visiting you at college when she found out. She's changed ever since." Kurt sighed. "Sometimes I think she's not living for herself anymore. She's living to make them proud."

Finn absorbed everything Kurt was saying. He felt like a complete ass. How could he have treated her like that when she had so much going on at the time? Now he understood why she ran off like she did.

_**Please let me know what you think. I really like all the possibilities I have for this story. So please review :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

Finn felt worse and worse as the days passed of him being in New York. Once they got back from the airport Rachel went straight to her room and hadn't come out until he was in his room. She was obviously avoiding him and she had every right to do so. He was the biggest jerk ever in college. He hurt people left and right and didn't even think much about it. He changed from that guy as soon as he got into the army. He hated himself.

He was reaching into the fridge one day to get a coke when the door slammed open and slammed shut. He dropped his coke and looked up to see Rachel storming into her room. There were tears running down her face. As she passed him she looked down and wiped her eyes.

"Are you okay?" he called after her and he got the sound of her bedroom door being slammed shut as the answer. He sighed and picked up his coke to see a huge dent in the top. He put it back into the fridge and grabbed another one. He walked into the living room and sat down as Kurt walked in.

"Hey. How was your day?" Kurt asked while taking off his jacket and hanging it on a hook by the door.

"It was okay. The training is going well. They told me I'm the best they've had in a while." Finn said proudly.

"That's great!" he cheered as he sat down beside his brother.

"Yeah. So uh you missed Rachel storming in earlier." he mentioned before taking a sip on his coke.

"Really? She's not suppose to get home till late tonight. Rehearsals are killer for her this close to opening night." Kurt mentioned before taking Finn's coke and taking a sip and handing it back to him.

"Yeah well they must be pretty bad since she was crying really bad and slamming shit around." Kurt looked up then a little surprised.

"Crying?" Finn nodded.

"Like a waterfall on her face." he confirmed.

"I need to go check on her. She hasn't cried since like forever ago." Kurt got up then.

"Since her dads died?" Finn asked and Kurt turned to look at Rachel's door.

"Well yeah and then the time she lost her virginity to some complete asshole that stopped talking to her after he got what he wanted." Kurt turned and went into Rachel's room then. Finn stared after him sadly. Yes that guy was a complete asshole.

...

Rachel's life was not going good at all currently. With having been thrown out of rehearsals and living with the one person she wanted to forget about. It just was really horrible.

Kurt came in earlier and got her a glass of water but left shortly after since she wasn't talking to him about anything. She missed talking to Kurt about everything. It's just that some things he didn't need to know about.

She was laying in her bed after just taking a long hot shower trying to get some sleep when there was a light knock on her door. She knew it wasn't Kurt because Kurt never knocked. She didn't say anything at first so the door slowly opened.

"Hey Rach." Finn nervously stood in her doorway. "Can I talk to you?"

"What do you want?" she mumbled and crawled deeper into her covers. Finn nervously shut her bedroom door and walked to her bed and sat on the very edge of it far away from her trying not to upset her.

"I want to apologize for what happen seven years ago." he let out in one breath. Rachel observed him for a few seconds. He nervously twitched and looked down at her bed comforter before meeting her eyes. "I was an asshole."

"You don't say?" she mumbled again before turning away from him so she wouldn't have to look into those beautiful eyes of his that caused everything to happen all those years ago.

"Yes. I didn't know anything back then. I was young and stupid. I used you and I hate myself for that." he confessed which made Rachel stop breathing for a second. Was he really here saying these things to her? "I'm so sorry Rachel. I took something from you that you can never get back and it kills me." she spun around quickly and looked at him and sat up.

"Why are you saying this to me now?After all this time?" she saw him swallow nervously.

"I heard about your dads." Rachel scoffed and laid back down turning from him. "I had no idea Rachel!"

"I don't need your pity." she mumbled while wiping the tears that fell from her eyes.

"I know you don't. You're strong Rachel. It was one of the reasons I was so attracted to you." she squeezed her eyes tight letting more tears fall. "I want to start over Rachel. I want to show you I'm not that guy anymore." Rachel sighed.

"Finn how do I know that this is not all bullshit coming from you?" she asked quietly.

"I never bullshited you Rachel. I was true with everything I ever said to you. I just was not true with myself." with that he got up from her bed and left her room. Closing the door quietly after him. She was left there thinking about their pass and what he just had said to her.

...

The next day Finn was in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Rachel walked in and started to make herself a cup of coffee. He watched her curiously. This was the first time she came out of her room with Finn here.

She took a sip of her coffee and sat down at the bar. She took a few more sips before reaching for a magazine that was laying by her and flipped through it casually.

"You're eating my cereal by the way." she mentioned after a few minutes of silence. He looked down at the bowl of coco puffs.

"You eat coco puffs?" he asked obviously surprised she ate such a thing.

"Yes I do. It's my favorite but you can have that bowl I don't care." she flipped another page.

"I'll buy you a new box." he promised as he ate the last bite.

"It's okay I'm going shopping today. I have the day off." she flipped another page.

"Why are you being nice to me?" anyone else would think she was being a total bitch but Finn knew this was a mile stone to how she was before. She's actually having a conversation with him.

"I decided last night that it's a waste to be bitter about everything." before Finn could respond Kurt banged into the apartment.

"Rachel you're out your room!" he breathed out surprised before going into what was more important. "Guess what guys! We have a party to go to tonight at a club. It's for my work and it would mean the world to me if both of you joined me!" he jumped up and down and clapped.

"Pass." both Finn and Rachel said at the same time.

"Nope you guys can't pass! You have to come! I'm going to be so lonely." he mumbled sadly.

"Kurt I don't want to go to a party with a bunch of fashion designers." Finn mumbled while putting his empty bowl in the sink.

"No you're going. I've done a lot for you and it's important to me that you do something for me." of course Kurt would go in for the guilt trip.

"Fine I'll go." he mumbled and heard Rachel laugh lightly. "Why are you laughing? If I have to go you sure as hell have to go too."

"I do not have to do anything." she laughed again lightly while turning a page in her magazine and looking back down at it.

"Come on Rachel! Please!" Kurt wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly.

"No Kurt! I hate parties!" she tried to fight him but when she looked up and saw his puppy dog eyes she sighed. "Fine! I'll go for an hour!"

"Yay!" he cheered before running off to his room.

"Great." she mumbled.

"You laughed at me for having to go. Karma's a bitch huh?" he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and got up to go in her room.

"Tonight was going to be a long night." she thought.

_**Let me know what you think! More to come :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

Finn dressed in a casual black button up and some dark jeans ready for the party in minutes. Kurt and Rachel were a different story. They had been arguing for the pass hour on what she should wear.

Finn sat in the living room watching ESPN when Kurt walked in with Rachel following him. Finn's eyes widened and his breath became hitched when his eyes landed on Rachel. She was wearing a light pink dress that hug tightly to her figure and stopped mid thigh. Her back was fully exposed. He couldn't stop staring as she turned to grab he purse that was laying on the chair near him. Her back facing toward him. The dress didn't start back up till the start of her ass. He looked down blushing when he realized that he was staring. Thankfully no one noticed he was.

"You guys ready?" Kurt said while grabbing his wallet off the side table of the couch.

"Ready as I'd ever be." Rachel mumbled before heading toward the door. Finn sighed and followed her out. Staring at her bear back the whole time.

...

The party was in full swing by the time they got there. Kurt instructed them not to drink too much before running off to find one of his coworkers.

Rachel sighed and moved to the bar and sat down on a stool. Finn followed her obviously not knowing anyone here either. He ordered a beer and tried to start conversation with her.

"So how is your show going?" he asked casually.

"It's coming along. The director is getting more and more stressed as opening night comes closer and it kind of makes everyone else stressed." she ordered herself a drink then.

"Well that sucks." he mumbled before taking a sip of his beer that the bartender brought over to him. "What show are you in?"

"West Side Story." she mumbles before taking a big gulp of her drink.

"Whoa there you heard what Kurt said." she ignored him and took another big gulp.

"Yeah I did but look at him." she pointed to Kurt taking a shot and being brought to the dance floor by some guy. "He's having fun. I might as well try to too." Finn looked curiously over at her as she took another big gulp. What was this night going to turn into?

...

Finn watched humorously as Rachel and Kurt danced together. Rachel was obviously drunk. She was smiling more than he had ever seen her before. He decided about half way through his second beer that it would be smart for him to be the sober one because obviously the other two were no where near sober.

He continued to watch them as the boy Kurt was dancing with before cut in leaving Rachel without someone to dance with. Finn swallowed thickly as she set her eyes on this man by her. She grabbed him by the collar and started to pull him closer to her. The man eagerly started to grind against her.

Finn couldn't sit there and watch any longer. He got up from his stool at the bar that he had been sitting at since they got to the club and started to make his way for the dance floor not even thinking. He pulled the guy away from Rachel.

"Whoa dude! I was here first!" the guy complained. Finn rolled his eyes.

"She's not a parking spot, DUDE." Finn has had a fair amount of interaction with cocky asshole like this guy. Hell he had once been that guy.

"Well she's open like one if you know what I mean!" the guy hollered and then started to laugh and that was all Finn needed. He threw one punch that connected to the guys chin and the guy landed on the floor.

"You don't talk about girls that way!" Finn said while grabbing Rachel's arm and pulling her off the dance floor with him back to the bar. She stayed silent until they got to the bar.

"You didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself." she mumbled while turning to order another drink from the bartender standing in front of them.

"No! No more drinks! You and Kurt are totally wasted." he said while the bartender shook his head in sympathy toward finn before going to the next person trying to order a drink.

"You're not in charge of me Finn Hudson!" she yelled angrily and blew her bangs out of her face.

"I know that. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you." he admitted and started to blush at his words. Her eyes widened for a second before slitting to glare at him.

"Really? Because if that were the truth you would have called me back after you took away my virginity all those years ago. If you didn't want anything to happen to me you should have never even talked to me." she huffed and stormed off to the bathroom. Finn watched her quietly. He was the biggest screw up ever.

...

It was late by the time they got back to the apartment. Finn was dragging in both Kurt and Rachel. He first took Kurt to his room because he was already passing out. Rachel on the other hand was far from passing out. She sneaked in a few more drinks after Finn tried to stop her and she was in full swing now.

Finn came out of Kurt's room to find Rachel in the living room turning up the stereo. Finn sighed and walked to reach to turn it down but was stopped when Rachel hand grabbed his.

"Dance with me!" she yelled over the music.

"Rachel you're drunk, you hate me, and you don't want to dance with me." Finn said sadly while reaching and turning down the music.

"I don't hate you Finn." he had to laugh at that. "I don't!" she argued which made Finn laugh a little more.

"Rachel I hate myself for what I did. How can you not hate me?" Finn said while pulling his hand out of hers. "Now you need to go to bed. You're drunk and you don't even know what you are saying." he tried to lead her to her room but of course with Rachel it wasn't that easy.

"Finn why did you let me have sex with you?" she asks while he helped her to her room. Finn sighed.

"What do you mean?" he sat her down on her bed.

"Like you knew I had never had sex before and you knew you didn't have feelings for me so why did you do that to me?" Finn sat down by her stared into those big beautiful brown eyes of hers that were so wide and innocent and it hurt him that he took her innocence away from her.

"I had feelings for you Rachel. Truth is I was falling for you and that scared me." he looked down and back up to see tears in her eyes. "I ran away from all the feelings I had for you. I regret it every second of everyday."

Rachel attacked him then. Her lips were on his and pushing him to lay back. He complied and she straddled him to deepen the kiss. Finn had no idea how they ended up here but he would be lying if he said he didn't like it. Her lips felt perfect on his. Like they were meant to molded to his. His arm reached around and rested on the small of her bare back.

She started to unbutton his shirt. He reached up and grabbed her hands.

"Rachel no." she froze then which made him freeze.

"Get out." was all she said before storming into her bathroom.

"Rachel wait!" she slammed the bathroom door and Finn sighed before getting off her bed and going to his room. That was a drastic change of events.

How was it possible that she managed to make him start to feel better about himself and then take that feeling away in a second and replace it with the feeling of emptiness?

...

Rachel woke up that morning with a killer headache. She rolled over and squinted an eye open to look at the time on the clock. It was almost noon but what caught her eye was a glass of water and a bottle of Advil sitting by her clock. There was a note attached to the bottle.

She sat up slowly and reached for the note curiously. She immediately knew who the unfamiliar scratchy handwriting belonged to.

_I'm sorry for EVERYTHING. I know you'd have a headache considering how many drinks you had. Take the Advil and rest. I'm sorry... Again. P.S. I bought you a new box of coco puffs. It's in the cabinet._

Rachel sighed while the memories of last night came back to her. Why had she kissed Finn? Was she just vulnerable at the time? People always did tell her she was a needy drunk but she never kissed anyone when she was drunk. How did Finn always have the ability to take everything she once was and crumble it?

One thing was certain though. There was no way she was going to let him back into her heart. Or even near it.

_**Please leave a review to let me know what you think**_


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel had been avoiding him since the night of the party. It had been two weeks now and she had not come out of her room once with him being there. She would leave to go to rehearsal right before Finn would get home from training and wouldn't come home until she knew he was either in his room or asleep.

She couldn't help but think about the kiss and how amazing it felt and how wrong it felt for it to feel so amazing. He had hurt her and he had no right to make her feel amazing anymore. Memories of the time they met popped into her mind.

_"Rachel this is my brother Finn!" Kurt hollered over the loud music going on in the frat house they were at. "Finn, this is my best friend Rachel I told you about." Rachel reached out for his hand to shake but Finn just laughed and gave her a small smile before unexpectedly throwing up down her new dress she had bought just for this party.___

_"Oh my God, Finn!" Kurt yelled as Finn wiped his mouth in a daze. "How much have you drank?"___

_"Enough I guess." the smile was completely off Finn's face now. It was replaced with a daze look. He was staring curiously at Rachel. She hadn't even notice since she was now staring down at her dress covered in contents of what was once in the tall gorgeous boys stomach. She waited a few seconds for an apology that never came.___

_"I'm leaving." was all she said before storming out of the party. How dare someone throw up on someone and not even say sorry after. She couldn't even be in the same room as him._

Rachel shook her head of the memory before laying out on the couch. Finn wasn't due to be home for another three hours and that gave her plenty of time to catch up on her shows. However, she didn't even get a chance to finish her second one before she heard the rustle of a key turning in the lock. Before she got a chance to bolt to her room Finn was in the living room looking at her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked while noticing his unkept hair, runny nose, and puffy eyes.

"I live here." he answered in a nasally voice.

"No I know that but why are you here this early?" she started to worry when he started coughing and couldn't stop. Before she could call 911 he stopped breathlessly.

"I'm sick. The unit sent me home." he said while laying his keys on the kitchen bar and heading toward the fridge. She watched him the whole time as he pored himself a glass of milk and chugged it down. He looked up while poring a refill.

"What?" he asked curiously while she continued to watch him. "I thought you would be holed up in your room by now." she blushed and looked down. Of course that's what she wanted to do but she couldn't stop staring at him. He looked horrible. Like he was on his death bed almost.

"I was watching my shows." she answered lamely.

"Sorry to interrupt then." he started to walk to his room but was caught in another coughing frenzy before he got there. It lasted a longer time than before and it made Rachel get up and go to him and rub his back soothingly. She didn't know what came over her but there was just something about him looking miserable that got to her. After a little while longer his coughing finally stopped. He looked down at her and gave her a painful smile. "Thank you."

"Have you taken any medicine?" she asked while still rubbing his back.

"No I don't have any." he said nasally before sneezing.

"I have some." before he could say anything she disappeared into her room. He heard rustling around before she came out with several pills. "Go in your room and lay down. I'll get you some water." he nodded and went into his room. He quickly changed into basketball shorts and a white t-shirt before she came in with the pills and water.

She had him lay down and she pulled the covers around him before giving him the pills and water. He eagerly sat up and took what she gave him before laying back on his pillow.

"You're amazing you know that?" he smiled up at her and her stomach did flops in return.

"Nah I'm not." she got up and left his room then. Closing the door quietly after her. He sighed and closed his eyes hoping that she wouldn't go back to ignoring him.

...

Four hours later Finn opened his eyes and immediately saw the posted note stuck to his forehead hanging over his eyes. He pulled it off and read what was on it.

**I made some soup for you before going to rehearsal. It's in the fridge. I also put some more medicine with a cup of water on your bedside table. Take it when you wake up.**

He smiled lazily at the perfect handwriting before taking the pills she laid out for him. He got up out of bed slowly and walked to the fridge. His mouth started to water as he saw the container full of homemade chicken noodle soup.

After quickly heating the container up he sat down on the couch and ate all the soup while watching ESPN. He set the now empty container on the end table and laid out on the couch. Not even five minutes passed before he was asleep again.

...

Rachel walked into the apartment and was immediately startled by the loud snoring coming from the living room. She quietly made her way in there preparing herself for a sleeping intruder but was relieved to see the large body on the couch.

"Finn!" she whispered while lightly shaking him. "Finn! Wake up!" he grumbled before opening his eyes slowly. "How long have you been in here? You need to go in your room and lay down."

"Where's Kurt?" Finn asked while rubbing his eyes. Usually Kurt came home before Rachel and he would turn off the tv when Finn fell asleep watching it and wake him up.

"He texted and told me he was at a friend's house for the night." she explained.

"He has a new boyfriend." Finn stated.

"Yeah or just a new boy toy." Rachel agreed before looking over and noticing the empty container. "You ate all the soup?" Finn smiled sickly at her.

"Yeah it was amazing. I wish there was more." Rachel giggled.

"I'll make you some more tomorrow." she promised. "Now come on you need to be in your bed. This couch is too small for you." he sat up before laying back again.

"I can't make it. Carry me." he joked and Rachel let out another giggle.

"That would be something to see. You would crush me no doubt." Finn chuckled and closed his eyes.

"I really can't move though." the smile left Rachel's face.

"Well you can't sleep out here. You're too big for the couch and you need to be able to rest fully so you can get better." Finn still had his eyes closed. "If you're not better tomorrow you're going to the doctor."

"No I hate the doctor!" he whined.

"I don't care. Now come on. Use all your strength and try to get up." she helped pull him up to a sitting position. He started a coughing fit and Rachel sat down beside him and rubbed his back.

"I hate being sick!" he whined when the coughing calmed down. Rachel continued to rub his back.

"It's going to be okay." she stood up and reached her hands out to him. "Come on you need to get in bed."

It took a couple tries to get him off the couch but he finally stood up. He was unstable and weak though so Rachel put her arm around his torso and helped him walk to his room. She tried to ignore the feeling of his body leaning against hers and how great it felt.

She finally got Finn to his room and laid him down on his bed. She gave him some more medicine and started to head back to her room but his words stopped her.

"Will you stay with me?" it was quiet and Rachel didn't even know if he had even said it but when she turned around and met his eyes she knew he had. "I don't want to die alone."

"You're not gonna die." she mumbled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You never know." he smiled a little at her then sobered up. "Please stay with me." Rachel looked down at the floor and back at him. "I won't touch you or anything."

"Finn you know I'm a cuddle sleeper." she mumbled and judging by Finn's small smile he was remembering things from their past.

"Please Rachel." she couldn't say no to him. That was a big problem of hers.

_Rachel was getting a coffee at a small cafe on the school's campus when he felt a strong presence behind her. She turned slowly and saw who was behind her in line.___

_"Rachel right?" he asked while slowly forming a smile on his perfect face. Rachel just rolled her eyes and turned back around. "I'm guessing we didn't get off on such a great start."___

_"You could say that." she mumbled. She hated this guy.___

_"Hey." he lightly touched her arm and she tried to ignore the warm feeling that ran through her whole body just at his touch. "I'm really sorry about throwing up on you."___

_"Whatever." she mumbled and shook his hand off her arm.___

_The line moved up and Rachel ordered her coffee and before the cashier could ring it up Finn came up to stand beside her.___

_"Can you add a black coffee to that. I'll pay." he told the cashier and she did as he said. He handed over his money to pay for it.___

_"You really don't have to do that. It's not like I'm going to forgive you." she mumbled while the cashier handed them their drinks quickly. Rachel turned to walk back to the dorm room she and Kurt were staying in with one of Kurt's old high school friends. Finn followed.___

_"Oh really? You're not going to forgive me?" she hated his cocky attitude. ___

_"No I'm not. Now will you just go away." she started to pick up her speed but Finn's long legs made it easy for him to keep pace with her.___

_"How about I make it up to you on a date." Rachel scoffed. "I'm serious. I know this great place. They have awesome food and a karaoke bar. Kurt told me you love to sing."___

_"Listen Finn, I know your type. You're an asshole. You do not respect anyone. You only care about one thing. Getting into someone's pants. I'm not that girl. You won't get anywhere with me. I'm a waste of your time because you won't get what you want. Please just leave me alone." she kept walking to the dorm trying to get Finn to feel discouraged but she failed.___

_"How about you let me take you on one date and let me prove to you that I'm more than that." he suggested and when she didn't respond he pulled her to a stop. Rachel was starting to get aggravated. ___

_"What will it take for you to leave me alone?" she yelled. Finn just smiled in return.___

_"A date."___

_"Fine I'll go on one date with you but only because I know you won't stop until I agree to go." she took a sip from her coffee.___

_"Great! Meet me outside the same frat house you went to last night at seven tonight. Look pretty." he winked and turned around and left then heading toward the complete opposite side of the campus. Rachel rolled her eyes and headed to the dorm._

"Fine. Let me go change." he smiled as she left his room and went into hers. A few minutes passed before she came back into his room in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. "Scoot over." He did as she said and she crawled into the bed beside him. "I'm going to kill you if you get me sick." Finn chuckled and closed his eyes. He could smell her lotion she put on all the way over to his side of the bed.

"You smell nice." he mumbled and he could hear her breath become uneven.

"Thank you." she breathed out and Finn chuckled before turning and laying on his stomach. His head facing toward her. He could see the she was laying on her side and was also facing him. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted to sleep with a smile on his face.

...

When Rachel woke up she immediately could feel Finn around her. Her legs were tangled with his and his arms were wrapped around her and her hands were wrapped in his. She couldn't ignore the feeling of wholeness that she was feeling at this moment. It felt like she was meant to be like this. Wake up in his arms everyday. It scarred her.

She slowly got up trying to untangle herself from him without waking him up. However, his arms started to tighten around her and pull her towards him. She sighed. She knew he was awake then and was trying to sense his surrounds. She heard him take a deep breath and then a coughing fit came. His arms left her and she felt him sit up. She turned and looked up quickly at him. His eyes were bloodshot. He was bent over coughing she rubbed his back feeling helpless. Finally he stopped.

"You're going to the doctor." she stated and when he tried to protest she cut him off. "I don't care what you say. You're going. You're miserable and I'm miserable seeing you miserable."

"Fine." he mumbled before laying back on his pillows.

...

By the time they got back to the apartment from the doctor's office Finn was so tired he was relying on Rachel on support to walk.

"Well at least they told you what was wrong with you and that it's not contagious." Rachel tried to pump up Finn's spirt.

"They gave me a shot Rach." he mumbled as they entered his room and Finn fell on his bed face first and stayed there not being able to move a muscle.

"You're such a baby. It was a shot. You should be feeling better in no time." she went into his drawers and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts out and threw them at him. "Here you can change into some more comfortable clothes. I'm gonna go make you some more soup."

"Yesssssss" he cheered while trying to sit up to change. Rachel giggle and went into the kitchen.

Thirty minutes later Rachel came back in with a hot bowl of soup and a DVD.

"I though we could watch a movie." she said while sitting the bowl on Finn's bedside table for him.

"That sounds amazing." he smiled at her before taking a sip of the amazing soup.

...

Somehow they fell asleep in the middle of watching Mamma Mia. Rachel woke up and immediately knew where she was. She smiled peacefully while turning slowly trying not to wake him up. She could see him now. His arms were wrapped around her and he pulled her closer to him in his sleep. She smiled. He looked so peaceful.

Rachel knew she shouldn't but she turned off the tv with the remote by her and snuggled into his hold on her. She loved his scent. She just had to breathe more of it in. It wasn't cologne or anything. It was just him and she loved it.

"Rachel." she picked her head up quickly at the sound. She didn't know if she heard him correctly but then he mumbled again in his sleep. "Rachel please!" he was more urgent. "I'm so sorry." her eyes started to water at the way his voice cracked in pain. "No!" he started to fidget beside her. She didn't know what to do. "No don't fire! Captain Jefferson sent me!" he was fidgeting worse now and it terrified her. What was going on. The only thing she could put together was that what was once a dream about her shifted into something about his time across the seas.

She never did ask why he was home so early usually people were in the army longer than four years right?

"I didn't do it! It's not mine!" Rachel couldn't take it anymore. She had to wake him up.

"Finn!" It took a lot of shaking to get him to finally wake up. He looked terrified. "Are you okay?" she breathed out.

He was able to mumble a "No." before his face crumbled in tears. Her heart broke for him. She scooted closer to him since he moved on the complete other side of the bed while he was fidgeting in his sleep. She wrapped her arms around him and he cried onto her shoulder. She started to tear up herself. What had gone on over there?

"Finn, you're okay now." she whispered. That's the only thing her mind could come up with. "I'm here."

"Never leave me." he cried out. She knew she shouldn't have told him what she told him next but she did it anyway.

"I won't"

_**OH SNAP! Haha leave me a review! The more reviews I get the faster I'll update!**___


	5. Chapter 5

Finn woke up the next morning feeling a thousand times better. He rolled over to wrap his arms around the person he fell asleep with the night before but was only met with a cold sheet. He opened his eyes and looked around for Rachel. Finding no sign of her he got out of bed and went into the common area.

He found her sitting at the bar drinking coffee and reading another of her magazines. "Hey." he said while coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her. She stiffened in his arms so he immediately let her go. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." she mumbled before pointing into the kitchen. "I made some coffee."

"That's sweet. Thank you." she nodded and continued to flip through the magazine.

After getting his cup of coffee he sat down beside her but she acted like she didn't even notice his presence. A couple minutes of silence passed before he couldn't take it anymore.

"What's the matter?" all she answered with was a mumble before flipping another page. He angrily snatched the magazine from her and threw it on the floor to get her attention.

"What the hell?" she yelled. "I paid for that!"

"It's just on the ground Rach." he rolled his eyes at her over dramatics "You were ignoring me and I wanted your attention."

"What are you? Five?" she huffed and hopped down from her bar stool. She picked up her magazine and stormed off with it toward her room.

"Why are you acting this way?" he called after her. All he got in response was her door slamming. He angrily pulled at his hair and took a sip of his coffee. What the hell was with her? She held him last night while he cried like a little girl and spent the last two days taking care of him but now she's all cold toward him. Damn Rachel could be the inspiration for the damn song hot and cold. The way she was acting one day could totally change the next. He was sick of it.

The front door opened and Kurt walked in carrying a over night bag. "Hello fabulous brother!"

"Hey." he mumbled back not in the mood for Kurt's happiness.

"I know you don't like hearing about my sex life but... Oh. My. God." he fanned himself. "I had an amazing night."

"Gross Kurt." Finn covered his ears. "I don't want to hear anything else." Kurt laughed happily.

"Where's Rachel?" Kurt peeked in the living room and looked back at Finn. He uncovered his ears and pointed to her room and rolled his eyes. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Finn yelled. "Why do I have always have to be the one to have done something." Kurt shrugged.

"You rub her the wrong way Finn." Kurt placed his bag on the floor and sat beside him. "Truthfully I think you guys would have major chemistry if she wouldn't fight it so damn much."

"What?" Finn asked shocked. Kurt shrugged again and played with his keys in his hands.

"Yeah I just had a feeling since you guys met that there was some major chemistry." he got up from his stool "but never tell Rachel that. She would kill me."

_"Don't tell Kurt about this. I don't want him knowing about any of this." Rachel said as soon as she walked up to Finn. They were outside of his frat house._

_"You look beautiful." he said while appraising her outfit she chose for the night and completely ignoring her comment about his brother._

_"I mean it Finn don't tell Kurt." she said while pulling her jacket closer to her to cover up her dress that showed a little too much cleavage._

_"What does Kurt have to do with anything?" he asked while meeting her eyes after his view of her ladies were cut off._

_"Nothing I just don't want him to know I went out on a pity date with his brother." _

_"Whoa who said this was a date? Plus you definitely don't have to worry about it being a pity date for me when you're wearing that dress." he smiled crookedly at her and she rolled her eyes._

_"You know what I mean. Plus you're my pity date." she mumbled and looked down embarrassed. He stepped closer to her._

_"I'm just messing with you." he laughed and grabbed her hand. "Now I promise not to tell Kurt. Let's go. I have a great evening planed ahead." Rachel smiled and let Finn lead her to his car._

...

Finn lightly knocked on Rachel's door. Kurt told him he should try to talk things out with Rachel. Finn was desperate to try anything. She had been ignoring him for a week and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Yeah?" she called from inside her room.

"Can I come in?" he called back. There was some scrambling around before her door opened and revealed Rachel standing there in a dress that was close fitting and snug in all the right places.

"What do you want? My date is coming in five minutes and I'm not done with my makeup yet." she informed him while turning around and sitting back down at her vanity and applying more eye shadow.

"You... You have a date?" he stuttered while still standing in the doorway staring in at her.

"Yeah this guy that makes my coffee everyday at that coffee shop that I stop at on my way to the theater kept hitting on me and asking me on dates so I finally said yes." she said while moving on to eye liner.

"So you're going on a date." he said angrily.

"Yeah that's what I just said." she said annoyed. "So what did you want?"

"I just wanted to talk to you but that's okay have fun on this date with some guy that makes coffee for you." he didn't know why he was acting this way but it just came out. "You know what they say 'It's not safe to screw people who work for you but whatever have fun."

"Screw you, Finn. It's a date. He doesn't want to just use me like some other guys I've been out with." that struck a cord in Finn.

"You know what Rachel... I'm done trying to make up for that. Just get over it. Yeah I was an idiot but I'm not anymore and I'm SICK of spending all my time trying to prove to people that I've changed. So have fun on your date." he turned and slammed Rachel's door.

He stomped off to his room and threw himself on his bed after slamming his own door. He didn't know what it was about Rachel that could drive him so crazy. How dare she go on a date with some guy when a week ago she was taking care of him and sleeping in his bed. It wasn't right.

_"So this is the famous karaoke bar in town." Finn informed her as they stepped into the busy bar. "I'll get our drinks and how about you get a table for us?" Rachel nodded and walked around until she saw a couple get up from a table so she quickly sat down and laid her jacket across the back of the other chair so no one would feel tempted to join her.__After a few minutes of terrible singing Finn found her. "The bar was so packed. I got you an apple martini cause I didnt know what you liked." he sat down the drink in front of her._

_"Thanks." she took a sip of the drink and smiled "It taste good."_

_"Great!" he took a big gulp of his beer. "So are you gonna take a turn up at the stage tonight?" he asked while pointing toward the girl butchering a Celine Dion song._

_"Hell no." he laughed. "I'm not drunk enough for that yet." she joked which made him laugh more. She was definitely nervous. She had no idea why she even agreed to come out with him tonight._

_"Well drink up. I want to hear that fabulous voice of yours I know you have since Kurt can't stop talking about your God given talent." she laughed and took a big sip of her a__pple martini._ _Maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought he was._

Finn was woken up from his sleep by his phone blaring. He looked at his clock and saw that it was three in the morning. He grumbled and answered his phone sleepily. "Yeah?"

"Oh my God finally someone answers!" it was Rachel.

"Rachel? What do you want at two in the morning?" he looked over at his digital clock and hoped she wasn't at the guys house.

"I'm at this club. Drew wanted to come here and I know the people that own it and once I got us in he disappeared with some girl and I just.." she took a shaky breath. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying. "I need someone to come here and walk me home. I don't want to be walking at night by myself. Kurt wouldn't answer his phone and you're all I have. Please Finn."

Finn was already up putting on his pants. "Where's the club at?" she gave him directions to get there and he mentally stored them away. "Okay I'm out the door now. I'll be there in a minute."

When Finn walked up to the club's entrance Rachel was yelling at some guy that was hanging drunkinly on another girl.

"Screw you bitch." was all Finn heard when he stepped up besides the group.

"Excuse me." He pushed the guy slightly. "You don't ever talk to a girl like that."

"Oh who are you?" the guy laughed "She's ugly anyway. It's not like she would be a good bone." That was all it took for Finn to start hitting the shit out of the guy. It took three club bouncers to pull Finn off the guy. They dragged him away and Rachel followed.

"I'm so sorry Rico." she kept saying to the bouncer while they restrained Finn.

"It's okay but just calm him down." Rachel looked at Finn then and saw the anger on his face under all the cuts and swelling from the fight. Drew got a few good hits on him.

"Finn come on calm down." she grabbed his hand. "Let's go home and I'll take care of your face." She touched his face softly. Finn softened up then and let Rachel pull him along. "You shouldn't have done that." she said after a few minutes of silent walking.

"No one should ever talk about you that way."

"I can handle myself, Finn."

"I know you can but that guy was a jerk. He deserved what I did to him."

Rachel pulled him to a stop. "No one ever deserves to be hit, Finn."

_Rachel was drunk by the time she signed up for singing. Finn smiled at her. She was a cute drunk.__"Finn! What should I sing?" she said a little too loud._

_"I don't know maybe-" he was interrupted by a masculine voice.__  
><em>_  
><em>_"Yo Hudson! Maybe you should learn how to train your next little bitch not to talk so damn loud." Finn turned and saw Matthew Davis yell that towards them from across the bar and then snicker. Finn rolled his eyes and turned back to see the hurt in Rachel's eyes._

_"I'm gonna head on home." she started to put on her jacket._

_"Wait. Don't go. Davis is just an ass." he grabbed her hand. "We were having a nice time."_

_"I'm not one of those girls, Finn. I'm not some easy girl you can bring on a date and then use afterwards." she huffed and he saw a tear run down her cheek. He stood up from his seat and wiped the tear away._

_"Hey." she turned from him and grabbed her purse. "Hey! You're not a girl like that. I know that." she turned back and gave him a small smile._

_"Oh classic Hudson over there! Trying to make the girl feel comfortable before he goes in for the kill!" Davis roared and the guys with him followed in. Finn had it then._

_"Yo Davis. Shut your damn mouth before I shut it for you!" Finn called back. By this time everyone in the bar was staring at them._

_"I'd like to see you try." Davis threw down his drink and stormed towards Finn. He vaguely remembered Rachel screaming when Davis' fist made contact with his face before Finn started to fight back. It didn't take long for the bar owner to pull them apart and throw them out with Rachel following apologizing to the guy.__Finn stormed off toward his car and Rachel quickly followed after saying sorry one more time. _

_"Finn! You've been drinking. Maybe it will be a smart idea for us to just walk home." Finn stopped in his tracks quickly and turned around. Rachel gasped when she saw his face. One eye was swelling and there were cuts all over his face. "Oh Finn." she walked closer to him and lightly touched his face. "You know no one deserves to get hit, Finn."_

_"Matthew Davis does." he mumbled while looking up at the sky. "He's such an ass. He gives me so much shit all the time."_

_"It will be okay. People like him never get anywhere besides prison in the their lifetime." Finn chuckled and Rachel noticed then that her hand was still on his face. She quickly removed it. "We better start walking."_

"Come on. We better start walking." Finn mumbled pulling Rachel to go a little faster. He still felt uncomfortable being out so late in New York City.

"Finn, I just want to say that I really appreciate you walking me home." Rachel offered after a few minutes of silence.

"It's no problem. As long as you're safe." he gave her a small smile. Rachel beamed back at him before frowning slightly. "What?" noticing her change of mood.

"I just... I'm so sorry for how I treated you." she looked down at the ground. "You were very vulnerable with me the other day and I just treated you horribly. I tend to self sabotage things when they get good. I just can never deal with the fact that I'm happy." he noticed the tears starting to run down her face. "Ever since my dads died I just feel like I'm never truly happy."

"Hey." he stopped walking and pulled her tightly in for a hug. Her whole body shook from her cries. "It's going to be okay. I promise you. Everyone feels lost at times."

"But I've felt lost for the last seven years." he rubbed her back soothingly. "It's moments like these where I just need my dads to talk to."

"I'm here for you if you need to talk." he pulled back and smoothed some of her wet hair from her face. "I'm not gonna abandon you like before. I promise." she smiled up at him.

"I believe you." he smiled back at her before grabbing her hand and leading her back to their apartment.

_**I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. Please review so I know what you think and maybe mention some things you would like to see in future chapters. It would help me so much.**_


	6. Chapter 6

When they finally got into the apartment Rachel threw off her shoes.

"Those hurt my feet so bad." Finn chuckled and pulled his shoes off too. Rachel took his hand and started to pull him into the bathroom. "We gotta clean your face." She sat him down on the edge of the bathtub and got a wash cloth to wipe away the blood from the cuts.

_"Your face is really bad." Rachel touched the cuts and bruises. They decided to go up to Finn's room in the frat house so she could help take care of his face. _

_"I'm fine." he reached up and laced her fingers with his smiling crookedly._

_"If you're so fine then why did you agree to me helping you?" she stared down at their intertwined hands.__"So I could do this." with his free hand he pulled her down to sit on his lap._

_"I've never done something like this." she said breathlessly while his face inched closer to hers._

_"Like what?" he kissed the side of her mouth. "Like kissing?" he moved down and kissed her neck then._

_"Not this kind of kissing." she breathed out as he sucked, bit, and licked a spot on her neck._

_"Well do you like it?" he moved to a different spot when he felt successful with that one._

_"Yes. Very much so." she moaned then. "Let's lay down on the bed."_

_He quickly stood up from his desk chair lifting her in his arms and carrying her with him. He laid her on the mattress and quickly hovered over her. She giggled when he had a hard time pulling his shirt over his head. Finally he got it off and attacked her lips again._

_"Finn.." he kissed down her neck. "Finn we need to talk."_

_"You talk. I'll listen." he said while reaching the exposed skin of her upper chest._

_"I'm a virgin." he quickly detached his lips from her skin and looked in her eyes._

_"Seriously?" Rachel nodded biting her lip. "Does that mean you don't want to do this?"_

_"No, I want to do this. I'm almost a senior in college. It's about time I lose it but I just wanted you to know because I don't want to be just a hook up. I like you, Finn." she took a deep breath "I want this to mean something."_

_"Of course. So do I." he lied easily._

_"Really?" she beamed._

_"Well yeah. You're different. I knew that from the first time I saw you." he brushed some of her hair out of her face while telling her half the truth. She was different and he liked that but he can't be in a relationship with someone who has dreams and a future. He'd just pull her back from being able to reach those._

_"Let's do this then." she giggled. "Wait you have a condom right?"_

_"Yes." he mumbled before attaching his lips to hers once more. A hook up couldn't hurt. He'd deal with the consequences later._

Finn couldn't stop staring at her. Her face was just perfect. Her eyes were blood shot from the tears but she never looked more beautiful to him.

"I think you need to put something on your eye." she lightly touched his eye. "The swelling is pretty bad."

"I'll be okay." he reached up and grabbed her hand. "Thanks for taking care of me though." She looked down and blushed.

"It's no problem. It's the least I can do." she grabbed his other hand with hers. "Even though I think violence is never the answer, I appreciate you standing up for me."

"Anytime Rach." he smiled at her before lifting up one of their intertwined hands and smoothed some of her hair behind her ear. "I'm always here for you."

She smiled and pulled his hands to wrap around her. He caught on quick and pulled her to him. Their lips were almost there when the front door slammed open. They pulled apart quickly and anxiously left the bathroom to see what the sound was for.

"I can not believe this!" Kurt yelled while slamming the door shut behind him. He noticed them then. "What the hell are you guys doing up this late?" Kurt noticed Finn's face. "Damn Finn! Did Rachel finally have enough?"

"No I got in a fight when I went to go walk Rachel home." he mentioned while looking down.

"I don't even want to know!" Kurt threw down his bags. "I had a horrible night. So I was at that guys house right? Well it turns out that no one in his family knows he's gay. His older brother popped in for a visit and he made me hide in a closet for six hours until his brother went to sleep so he could sneak me out."

"So that explains why you didn't answer my calls and texts." Rachel says.

"Yeah I dropped my phone before I was thrown into the closet." he huffed. "Anyway! I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to bed." Kurt stormed off to his room and closed his door behind him.

"I think I should probably get to bed too." Rachel patted Finn on the shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah okay." Rachel smiled and went into her room with Finn on her mind.

...

"The play opens in two days!" she exclaimed while plopping down on the couch besides Finn. "The director is working us to the bone. I can do the play backwards in my sleep."

"It gets better after opening night, right?" Finn asks while reaching over and grabbing her hand and pulling her to him. They haven't done anything more than cuddling since their almost kiss a few weeks ago. Finn didn't want to push her into anything and make her upset again.

"Usually but I just want all of it to be over. All this pressure is getting to me." she laid down on the couch and put her head in his lap. He combed his fingers through her hair while she spoke.

"Well lets watch a movie or something to get your mind off of everything." he suggested. "I could put a DVD in-"

"No!" she interrupted. "Just keep doing what you're doing." Finn smirked and continued to comb through her hair.

"So you like to be petted? That's what relaxes you?" he humored.

"Yep." she smiled up at him before closing her eyes and getting comfortable. After a few minutes Finn knew she was asleep. She started to do her cute little snore that he adored.

Not wanting to wake her up, he gently moved her head so he could get up. He reach over and put his arms under her back and behind her knees lifting her easily off the couch. She was weightless in his arms so it was easy to move around the apartment and bring her into her room to lay her on her bed. He gently took off her shoes and pulled the covers around her. He turned to leave the dark room but before he could her voice called out to him.

_Rachel's head laid on his chest afterwards. Finn's hand ran through her hair. "How are you feeling?"__  
><em>  
><em>"A little sore" she turned and placed a chaste kiss on his lips "but other than that I feel amazing." <em>

_Finn chuckled as she laid her head back down on his chest. It was quiet for a few minutes. Finn thought she had fallen asleep until she whispered. "What happens when I go back to New York?" Finn gulped. He knew she was going to eventually ask this._

_"We'll find a way to make it work." he combed through her hair. "Let's just enjoy this week and worry about it when the time comes." Rachel thought about it for a second before nodding._

_"Okay." she turned and looked at the clock. "Shit, I have to get back to Mercedes' before they figure something is up." Finn chuckled._

_"I'm pretty sure they'll sense something off about you." she tilted her head to the side confused so he explained. "You're not a virgin anymore. You got that certain pip in your step now." Rachel giggled._

_"I'm pretty sure I won't even walk straight after tonight actually." she pulled the sheet that was covering them with her as she looked around the room for her clothes while Finn pulled on a pair of boxers. She quickly found her clothes and started pulling them on._

_"Will you walk me back to the dorm?" she said as she zipped up her dress. "It's two in the morning. I don't know what psychos are out there."_

_"Anything to keep you safe." they walked quietly to Mercedes' dorm room hand in hand. Rachel had never felt more happy in her life and Finn never felt more guilty._

_"Will you call me tomorrow? We can hang out when you don't have class." she suggested as they finally reached the door to the dorm room. Rachel could hear Kurt and Mercedes giggling about something._

_"Of course." he kissed her deeply. "Bye baby."_

_"Bye." he kissed her cheek again before turning and walking back to the frat house._

"Finn." he turned around quickly. "Will you sleep with me tonight?" he chuckled and closed her door before taking off his shoes and pants and climbing into bed besides her. She cuddled up to him and kissed his shirt covered chest before whispering "Thank you" and falling straight to sleep. Finn pulled her closer to him and soon fell asleep too.

Finn woke up and immediately knew where he was. He looked over at the girl in his arms. She was still asleep and lightly snoring. There was also I pool of drool on his shirt where her mouth was but he didn't mind. They had been spending a lot more time together. Rachel was taking things slow and Finn desperately wanted to speed things up but neither of them had time with her play about to open and him so close to becoming a fireman. He had even been on some of the calls with the guys and it made him even more excited for when he could officially join them.

Rachel started to stir then. She opened her eyes, wipped her mouth, and rolled over onto her stomach turning her head to face him. "Good Morning." she whispered while smiling at him. "How'd you sleep?" he rolled on his side and rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Amazingly." he found a patch of skin in between her shirt and shorts and started to rub there. She hummed in agreement.

"Are you coming to my opening night tomorrow?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Would you like me to?" he asked while lifting her shirt a little and rubbing more skin.

"I would love you to."

"Then I will." she smiled at him and he smiled back.

Her door opened then and Kurt stormed in. They all froze. Kurt was surprised by the position Finn and Rachel were in.

"What the HELL?" he demanded. He looked between them until the shock had passed. "How long has this been going on? And how come no one told me anything?"

"First off, I told you to knock before coming into my room." Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel turned over and sat up. "And second, there's nothing going on!" she huffed obviously annoyed.

"Yeah sure there's nothing going on! Finn just randomly comes in here and takes off his pants and gets into bed with you!" Kurt said while pointing to Finn's pants on the floor by the bed.

"Kurt will you just go? Please? I just got up and your over dramatics are killing me." Finn huffed while pulling the covers up to his neck.

"Whatever Finn, I talk Rachel into letting you live here because you had no where to go because you refuse to speak to our parents and this is how I'm treated!" Kurt leaves then and slams Rachel's door after him. Rachel looks over and sees the hurt in Finn's eyes.

"Finn-" she's cut off almost immediately.

"I have to go get ready. I have training today." he raised out of bed and grabbed his pants and shoes before quietly leaving. Rachel sighed and laid back against her pillows. "Great." she whispered to herself before getting up and getting ready herself for rehearsals.

...

Rachel came home that night to a strangely quiet apartment. Usually Finn was home before her and was watching tv in the living room but not tonight. There was no one in the living room and she knocked on both Kurt and Finn's doors without getting a response.

She sighed and decided to get a bubble bath since her muscles hurt from being over worked all day. She was in there for about an hour before she heard things coming from then front of the apartment. She hurriedly dried off and threw a robe on so she could go see who it was. Hoping it was Finn so she could talk to him about this morning.

"So then he shot himself. Boom!" Finn said loudly to the guy who was dragging him through the door. Finn looked up and noticed Rachel. "Rach! Hey look it's the girl I was telling you about! Rach, this is my friend from training!" Rachel had never seen Finn drunk like this before. The guy holding him up looked over and smiled at her. "His name is Fuck."

"It's Puck actually. Sorry, he was a little out of it at training today so I suggested going to this bar I know and well he had a few too many drinks." Puck explained.

"It's okay. I'll take him from here." she walked over and wrapped Finn's arm around her. "Thanks Puck." The guy nodded and left then.

"I'm such a screw up, Rach." Finn mumbled while she led him to his room slowly.

"No you're not." she got his door open and pulled him to his bed sitting him down.

"Yeah I am. I wasn't good enough for my dad to stick around and I wasn't good enough for the army or for my mom. I'm not good enough for you and I'm just just-" he breaks down then. Putting his head in his hands while the tears fall. Rachel was shocked. What he said broke her heart. He really thought this low about himself.

"Hey." she pulled his face up to look at her. "You are an amazing guy. Don't let anything or anyone make you feel otherwise." he looked away. "I'm serious Finn! You're amazing and you can't even see it."

"Can I just go to sleep?" he whispered while trying to lean over and take of his shoes nearly tipping over. She pushed him back and took off his shoes herself. She looked up at him failing to unbutton his pants. "I got it." she told him while pushing his hands away after she took his shoes off and doing it her self. He laid back on his bed after she pulled them off. He crawled under the covers and sat up for a second to take his shirt off. Throwing it on the floor and laying back under the covers. Rachel made sure he was covered up all the way before heading out.

Right when she quietly shut his bedroom door and turned toward hers Kurt walked out his.

"Ahh so you sneaking out on him?" he mumbles while passing her and going into the living room. Rachel followed.

"Actually no. Nothing is going on Kurt." Kurt just rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. We're not together. We might be soon but not now. I'm sick of your attitude." He sat down on the couch and ignored her. "You know how hard things have been for me since my dads died. You shouldn't be pushing me like this to tell you everything."

"You never tell me anything anymore." Kurt said quietly.

"Kurt, you're never here!"

"I am here just not when you are!" he turned toward her and she could see tears in his eyes. "Nothing is the same anymore. We use to talk all the time and tell each other everything. I feel like ever since your dads died and you had the miscarriage it's been going down hill."

"Kurt, you promised not to bring that up again!" she hushed hopping that Finn was in his drunk slumber by now.

"Yeah well you promised to tell me who the baby's father was eventually but that never happen and ever since then you've been keeping secrets." Rachel could see the hurt in his eyes and it hurt her to keep this from him.

"Kurt, it's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just that I don't want to open up old scars." she looks down. "I've been working to forget that for seven years now."

"I just want a name, Rachel." Kurt pleaded. "All I know is that he went to OCU and you guys had a one night stand and you didn't hear from him again."

"Kurt, stop." she warned as tears started to fall from her eyes.

"And then you find out you're pregnant a month later and then two months after that you had a miscarriage. I was there with you through all of that!"

"Kurt, I said stop!" she yelled.

"You had a miscarriage?" both heads turned to the unexpected voice that came from the hallway.

"Finn." Rachel breathed out.

"You had a miscarriage and you didn't even bother telling me? Wait you were pregnant and didn't even tell me that?" he was definitely angry which wasn't good because he was still drunk.

"You ignored my calls after that night and I knew it would have been a worthless cause to try to talk to you then." Rachel defended herself. "I didn't know what to do!"

"You could have told Kurt to tell me!" Finn yelled.

"I didn't want him to think differently of me! He always talked about the whores that fell for his brother! I didn't want to be one of those whores." Kurt looked between them obviously confused.

"Well news flash, Rachel. You kind of are. You got pregnant by me after all." Kurt gasped. Rachel looked over and saw the hurt in his eyes for not telling him it was Finn mixed with anger at Finn for what he just said to her. "Rachel, I'm sorry that was-" she slapped him then. Her hand stung as she stormed off to her room putting on clothes and packing a bag before leaving the apartment ignoring the calls after her as tears poured down her face.


	7. Chapter 7

Rachel opened her eyes and sat up quickly before remembering where she was.

"Oh good you're awake. I made coffee." Rachel looked over to the kitchen where the voice was coming from. "I don't know why you called me so late but you need to get your shit together Berry. I can't be housing in stray people every night."

"I know. I'm sorry, San. I just didn't have anywhere else to go." Rachel got up from the couch and headed over to the pot of coffee and poured herself a glass.

"I'm not good with talking about stuff so if you've come to me for a shoulder to cry on then you have totally mistaken our friendship here."

"I didn't come here to talk. I came here to have somewhere to sleep. I just don't want to be around my roommates right now. That's all."

"I'm sure there's more to that Miss Rachel Berry."

"Well you don't want to hear about it so I'd advice you to leave it alone or I might need a shoulder to cry on." Rachel joked which made them both laugh. It was interrupted by Rachel's phone ringing. She sighed and got up to get it.

"Is it one of your roommates?" Santana asked as Rachel declined the call.

"Yeah I have a few hundred missed calls from them." She took a sip of coffee. "You would think they would realize I don't want to talk right now." She opened up her text messages from Finn and scrolled through them.

**Rach, answer your phone!**

**I didn't mean what I said**

**I was still a little drunk**

**How the hell would you expect me to react to that news?**

**I'm sooo sorry. Please talk to me.**

**I guess you don't want to so I'm going to go to sleep but call me if you need me**

**Stay safe please**

Rachel sighed. She really wasn't ready to talk to Finn yet. She didn't want him to know about the miscarriage so soon but it's too late now. He probably has a million questions for her.

"It must be pretty serious huh?"

"For someone that's not good with talking you ask a lot of damn questions."

"Damn Berry! You growing some backbone?" Santana joked.

"Sure if that's what you want to call it." Rachel turned her phone on silent and threw it back on the couch where she slept the night before. "It's more of I'm sick of people and their bullshit."

"Well that works too. You need to start getting ready. We got to be at the theater in one hour."

"Alrighty then."

...

Rehearsals were killer. Rachel dragged her feet back to her dressing room ready to get her bag and go straight home and crawl in her bed. She didn't even care if she saw Kurt or Finn in the process. However, she wasn't aware of the fact that Kurt was actually in her dressing room waiting for her. She saw the reflection of his face in her mirror before she actually saw him.

She turned quickly to him. "Shit! You scared the hell out of me!" Rachel was gripping her chest waiting for her heart rate to slow down.

"Yeah I can say the same to you." Kurt stood up from his seat on the couch. "You just storm out the apartment and don't tell anyone where you're going. Finn was freaking out last night and I had to calm him down! He was so worried about you that he was about to go out and search for you. Then I would have had two lost roommates!"

"Kurt, I'm tired and I really don't feel like doing this right now so can we talk about this after opening night because I'm worn out and pmsing and I just feel like shit." Rachel mumbled while packing her bag. "Do you have somewhere to go or do you want to take a taxi home with me?"

"I'm going on a date tonight. I was just stopping here on my way." He looked away and wouldn't meet her eye.

"Well I hope it goes well. I'll see you later okay?" Kurt nodded his head and she turned and went to leave

"I want to talk about this eventually, Rachel!" He called as she walked down the hallway ignoring him.

...

Rachel entered the apartment quietly not trying to make too much noise just in case Finn was home. Her plan was to slip into her room unnoticed and lock her door but that didn't happen.

As she passed the opening to the kitchen someone called her name gently. "I made you dinner." She turned quickly and met Finn's eye. She'd be lying if she said her heart didn't skip a beat at the sight of him.

"I'm not hungry." She turned back and headed toward her room.

"It's your favorite! Vegan spaghetti with a green salad. I even went out and bought your favorite dressing to go with it!" She stood still for a second.

"Kurt told you that was my favorite?" She cocked up an eye brow at him and crossed her arms.

"No you told me on our date that time. You probably don't remember that well but I do." Rachel stared silently at him. "Just please come eat dinner with me. We don't even have to talk." She sighed as her stomach growled.

"Fine and then I'm going to my room and going to sleep." Finn smiled brightly and quickly made her plate. Putting a little too much on it for her but she didn't complain.

They ate quietly for a while until Rachel heard him whisper "I'm sooo sorry, Rach."

"I thought we agreed on no talking?" She spit back.

"I know... I just... I want you to know how horrible I feel about what I said to you and how I have treated you." He looked down at his plate and she saw a tear fall from his eye. "I think I'm going to move to California and finish my firefighting training there. I just wanted you to know from me before Kurt told you." Rachel stared at him shocked. She did not see this coming.

"Why California?" She finally breathed out.

"I have a buddy from the army living there. He said he could use a roommate and I told him no at first but now I just see that maybe it's best for all of us if I do go."

"So you're just going to leave? This dinner was a way to be able to break it to me?" Finn looked down at his plate. "You promised you would come to my opening night."

"Rachel, please don't make this harder than it is." Finn shook his head sadly.

"Wow Finn... Just wow." She rolled her eyes as she grabbed her unfinished plate and threw it into the sink. "Thanks for always thinking about me!" She called as she stormed to her room and slammed her door and locked it behind her.

...

Rachel tossed back and forth in her bed unable to make her mind shut up long enough for her to fall asleep. Thoughts of Finn popped in her mind. A few tears unwillingly fled from her eye. She's been trying to fight these feelings for so long and they're all the sudden attacking her now.

She's been locked up in her room ever since throwing her food in the sink and breaking the plate, splattering food everywhere. She slowly exited her room and headed toward the kitchen prepared to pour herself a glass of water. Water always made her feel better.

As she sipped on her water she noticed movement outside the window in the living room. The window led out to a fire escape. She moved closer and tried to make out who the figure belonged to. As she got closer she recognized the broad shoulders and the pale skin that belonged to the boy that has been entrapped in her thoughts.

She put down her water and walked to the window, opened it slowly and climbed out beside him. He was leaning against the building. His eyes widened at the sight of her.

"Hey." She whispered while leaning against the ladder on the side of him.

"Hi." He whispered back before wiping his eyes. She could tell that he had been crying.

"Whatcha doing out here?"

"Just watching the city." She looked out and observed the city as well. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah it really is." She mumbled. "When we first moved in this apartment I came out here every night. It was my personal heaven." Finn looked over and stared kindly into her eyes. "What?" She breathed out as he continued to stare.

"Nothing." He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"So when do you plan on leaving?" She asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Tomorrow afternoon. I figured that would give me enough time to pack the little I have." He looked out at the city and sighed.

"Why do you feel like you need to leave?" Finn laughed. "What?"

"You're really asking me that? You hate me! My brother has stopped talking to me. I literally have nothing left for me here. I need to move on. I feel like I'm a bother here. I asked a favor from Kurt and this is what it turned to." She saw a few more tears fall down his face. She hesitantly reached up and wiped them away with the pads of her thumbs. Finn gasped as she kept her hands on his face and stroked his cheeks.

"I most definitely do not hate you, Finn Hudson." She smiled sadly. "You drive me insane and constantly hurt me but I could never hate you. No one could. You have a pure heart and that's impossible to hate." He looked down but Rachel patted him on the face until he looked back at her. "What I want is for you to be happy. What makes you happy?"

"You." He whispered as he stared right into her eyes. She took a sudden breath but recovered after a moment of thinking.

"Well you can have me" he smiled brightly but it started to fade as she continued "but only if you learn to treat me better. I do not want any reappearances of the old Finn like I saw last night."

"I'm so sorry." He placed a hand lightly on her waist and another covering one of hers that still remained on his face. "I cannot apologize enough about that. It has to be the most horrible thing that I have ever said. I didn't mean a word of it either." Another tear fell from his eye. She wiped it away again.

"To an extent I know you didn't want to hurt me but it still hurts you know?" Finn nodded slightly and reached over and brushed a piece of her hair that had fallen in her face to behind her ear. "Even if you hurt me I do not want you out of my life. I don't want you ever leaving me again. I've grown attached to you."

"Really?" He smiles as she nods her head blushing slightly. "Hate to break it to you but I've been attached to you from the moment I threw up on you. I just had to mess up a little more so I could grow up and one day become the man you deserve."

Rachel's heart swelled with every word he said. She couldn't hold it in. She leaned away from the ladder and kissed his lips. It started off slow but soon turned into straight passion. He pulled at her waist so she would be pressed up against him. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as tongues fought for dominance. They only separated when air became a must.

"How about we go inside? It's cold out here. We can cuddle up in my bed and watch a movie." She whispered while caressing his face.

" That sounds perfect."

...

They were laid up in Rachel's bed cuddled underneath her big down comforter watching some random movie Finn picked because she said he could.

"Rachel?" Finn asked slowly. She turned in his arms so she could see him. He gulped. "Could you maybe tell me about the miscarriage?" She liked down sadly so he added "You don't have to if you want to I just would like to eventually know, you know?"

"I know." She sighed and muted the tv. "Well about a month after I got back from spring break and I was done dealing with all of my dads' last wishes and wills I noticed that my period was late. I didn't want to tell Kurt so I went out and bought a pregnancy test and I took it. It came out positive. I kind of felt like my whole life was crumbling. I didn't have my dads to lean on and I didn't have the baby's father either."

"I'm so sorry." Finn looked down. Rachel caressed his cheek bringing up his face to look at her.

"I know and I forgive you now." He gave her a half smile encouraging her to finish the story. "Well Kurt found the pregnancy test three day later. He was shocked and upset I didn't tell him when I lost my virginity. I cried a lot when I told him about everything except the fact that it was you. He was really disappointed. He stopped talking to me for a couple days and that's when I got really depressed. I never told anyone this before but I was thinking about committing suicide."

"Rachel-"

"I know. I know! It just got really bad but the baby kept me together. I don't believe in abortion so killing myself would have just resulted in the same. Anyway Kurt came around and he went with me to the doctor and I got my first ultrasound confirming I was pregnant. I was happy a while but the depression hit again and I was sad all the time and school was stressing me out. I didn't know how I was going to finish my last year." Rachel took a deep breath. "On July third I was having really bad stomach pains and I started bleeding so Kurt rushed me to the hospital." She wiped away the tears that were running down her face. "They confirmed I had a miscarriage." She broke down. Finn held her close to him and let her cry as he had tears running down his face as well. A lot of time passed before Rachel calmed down. Finn held her the whole time.

"Finn?" Rachel whispered. He hummed in response so she continued. "Do you remember that night I woke you up from that nightmare?" He was silent. "What was your nightmare about?" Finn sighed.

"They're not so much nightmares as they are flashbacks." Rachel pulled away a little so she could see his face. She wiped a few tears off his face. "I had some pretty bad stuff go on when I was overseas and sometimes they replay in my sleep. Not often though."

"Well you were mumbling my name too and I wasn't overseas with you. What was that about?" Finn looked down.

"You know how I have a lot of issues like with my family?" Rachel nods even though she doesn't really know all the details besides that he doesn't speak to them. "Well, I have this dream where you're leaving. Leaving me because I'm like this drug addict and I can't keep a job and I'm just a loser. You tell me that I'm just like my father and that I'll never be anything."

"Your dad was a drug addict?" Rachel asked shocked. Kurt never told her any of this.

"He was in the army and when he came back from overseas he was screwed up from something he saw or something and he turned to drugs. He hit mom and stuff and I was about one when she took me and went to stay with her mom a few days. She came home and found him on the floor dead." Rachel gasped. "He over dosed."

"I'm so sorry, Finn." She pulled him to her and held him close.

He rubbed her back. "I didn't know anything about this until I told my mom I wanted to go into the army. I was so mad because she lied to me my whole life saying that my dad died a hero serving our country when really he was just a selfish loser who didn't think about anyone but himself. I stopped talking to her after that. I couldn't even hear her voice without getting upset and hurt."

"She was probably just trying to protect you. I've met your mother a few times. She's the sweetest person I know."

"I know. I know she probably had my best interest at heart but it still hurts you know?"

"I fully understand Finn." She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "However, coming from someone that lost both their parents unexpectedly I think you should try to mend your relationship with her while you can." Finn sighed and looked away. "I'm not saying you have to. I'm just saying that you should at least think about it."

"I know, babe." He leaned down and pecked her lips. "It's just gonna be really hard." He leaned his forehead against hers and noticed her giggle. "What?"

"Nothing." She giggled again.

"Just say it, Rach." He chuckled a little at her giggle.

"It was a 'that's what she said' moment." Finn couldn't help but bust out laughing and she joined in too.

"You think you're so funny." He reached over and started tickling her which caused uncontrollable laughter and movement from her. He rolled and pinned her between his legs so he could have a better hold.

"I..." She gasped and then continued to laugh. "I can't... I can't breathe... Fiiinnnnn!" He stopped then and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers as she caught her breath. "I hate you." She finally breathed out. Finn chuckled.

"No you don't." Rachel scoffed but smiled shortly after. "See?"

"Whatever." She mumbled and leaned up to kiss him.

"Grossssss!" They heard from the hallway. They left her door open and Kurt was peaking in on them.

"Shut up, Kurt!" Finn called as he rolled over from his position above her to where he was now besides her on his side.

"So I'm guessing you're not going to Cali?" Kurt smiled while leaning on the doorframe.

"No, I figured I have too many great things here for me." He smiled over at Rachel and she giggled and snuggled up to his side.

"Okay ew gross." Kurt turned and walked down the hall to his room. "Remember Rachel, tomorrow is your opening night! Get some sleep!" He called out before they heard his door close behind him.

"I should probably go so you can get to sleep. Tomorrow's your big day." He tried to get out of bed but Rachel grabbed his arm.

"Will you just sleep in here with me tonight? I'll sleep way better if you're here holding me." Finn smiled and crawled off the bed and shut the door while she turned off the tv. He crawled back in the bed and pulled her against him.

"I'll be here as long as you'll let me."

"You'll be here a while then."

_**Author's Note: Surprise! I decided not to rewrite this story. I know a lot of people were upset. So, here you go! I really like this chapter and I hope you do to. If anyone would like to follow me on tumblr, and pester me for updates on there, my URL is abby-patrice. I would also like to ask everyone to keep our dear Cory in their thoughts and prayers as he goes through this hard time and be thankful that he is reaching out for help. **_


End file.
